My Job

In the previous post I mentioned that I was diagnosed in January of last year... so why did I wait so long to be open about it?  Well... I had doubts about being able to perform at my job.  I love teaching and I love my students, but I certainly had my doubts.  If my students knew, would they take advantage of me?  Would they see what they could get away with (you know, since I can't see)?  Those questions drove me to secrecy and for the whole year my students just thought I was clumsy.  After I "outed" myself, it's funny how many of my previous students asked "Is that why you kept tripping over the backpacks and running into tables?" and now how much less I hear "Mr. Bracken I've been raising my hand for 5 minutes!"

As a matter of fact, I talked to our principal to discuss a possible career change; one that would continue to allow me to work with students.  We discussed guidance counseling.  But I learned a lesson that I want everyone to note: Never jump to a conclusion without seeking proper guidance.  Once I met with vocational rehabilitation I realized how ignorant I was.  The Office of the Blind have been very diligent working with me to make sure I teach for as long as I want--these past couple months they have done a lot to solve problems I was dealing with in the classroom (i.e. rearranged my room so the desks are arranged deep and narrow instead of shallow and wide--this puts more students in my peripheral and use of a CCTV).  Their help and encouragement has given me all the confidence I need (along with support of my family and co-workers).

I know my collaborative teacher had been wanting to tell the class for a long time what was going on.  I could tell she was biting her tongue every time I bumped something or didn't see something.  When I finally decided I definitely wanted to teach the rest of my life and that I could, I made it public on facebook--that was my collab's cue that she could finally say something!  And it was just the next day that she had the opportunity to do that.  I was in the front of the room covering something on the smart board.  A student remarked that she couldn't see because I was in the way.  So my solution was to step out of the way.  Her solution was to get up and move to a different seat.  Unfortunately I did not see her in my peripheral (of course) and so my 240 pound frame slammed her, well... much smaller frame, into the wall!  I don't remember what she said, but it was enough for my collaborative teacher to finally tell the class (I think she was more relieved to get it out than I was! haha).

Since opening up about it at school, I've faced some new frustrations and hopefully my blogs will continue to clear up misunderstandings (later posts will focus more on what daily struggles might be and what I actually can/can't see).  But from my first blog (the clues) I've students remind me of other stories I've forgotten, so the next post will be "Bracken's Top Ten Usher Moments"--be looking for it in a day or two!