The "Blind Stick"

My first week at Bible Study with my walking cane I asked for prayer from the group in regards to the adjustments I was making in life, particularly my new use of a walking cane issued by the Office of the Blind.  Once we wrapped up all our prayer requests one person proceeded to pray; but once he got to praying for me, you could tell he didn't quite know what to call my cane: "We lift up Jeff in prayer as he makes adjustments with his...errr...uhh... blind.... ummm... stick."  Two guys actually started laughing out loud and had to leave the room and it's still an inside joke today to call it a "blind stick."  It wasn't so much what he called it that made it funny; it was his fumbling over what to call it.  But I think that demonstrates a big point I'm wanting to make: it's an unfamiliar subject.  I would use the word "ignorant" but it's too offending--after all, I was ignorant to it before, how can I expect every one else to know and understand?

There is a stigma attached to a blind cane.  Whoever uses one, must be totally blind.  That would explain why at the mall I can part the Red Sea.  Shopping is so easy now.  Walk into a mall, open a blind cane, and watch the crowds dodge out of your way!  But then there are those who use logic and the result seems to be doubt. Someone will look at me, look at my cane, then look back at me.  Those are the people who notice my glasses.  And then you see their wheels turning: "If he's blind, why does he wear glasses?"  But I can't fault people for behaving this way--who wouldn't think that?  And this is the main issue that drove me to blog--to bring understanding!  So, if I can see in front of me, why do I need a cane?

Put your toilet paper rolls over your eyes (cut it in half if you want to more closely resemble what I see at this point in my life).  Notice how you can't see below you?  So you have a choice... walk looking down and avoid tripping hazards, but sacrifice anticipating what's ahead and/or people walking in front of you. Or you can walk looking up, anticipate what's ahead but sacrifice immediate tripping hazards below you.  For so long I had been walking looking down and never thought anything of it.  I naturally adapted to what was best for me with no recollection of instantly switching from looking up to looking down.  Eventually I realized how much daily life was hindered.  How often I missed people saying hi to me because I was looking down and did not see them.  How often I missed my students raising their hands because of looking down and when looking up in the classroom, how often I tripped over backpacks!

What the cane allows me to do is always look up and the cane will notify me of any immediate tripping hazards.  I can now be more aware of people around me and objects ahead of me (no more smacking into tree branches and hearing my wife chuckle).  Now, because of the night blindness I am 100% dependent on the cane (when I don't have a flashlight on me) but during the day I rely on scanning the room.  When I enter a room, I look around and scan what's there.  In other words, if I identify a trash can ahead, I'm not going to just walk straight and let my cane pick it up.  I already know it's there, so I'll step to the side to avoid it.  And I don't use it in the hallway at school because I know there's nothing to trip over.

But that scanning technique also discourages me from using the cane.  When I'm in the store and I am making turns before my cane hits something, people are either thinking "wow, he really knows how to get around blind" or they're thinking "why does he need a cane?  Is he faking it?"  I know the latter thought exists because  I've heard it: "You don't need a cane."  But again, to them, it's "You see me talk to you, therefor you must see normal."  I'd like to say I'm courageous enough to be "myself" and ignore all that, but it does get to me and I use my cane less than I should because of the social stigmas.  Sometimes when I'm in public I feel like it'd be easier to just pretend I'm completely blind and purposely run into stuff!  Because in addition to combating social stigmas, I personally feel guilt because I feel like I'm misleading everyone around me--the cane tells them I'm totally blind, but in reality I see in front of me.  

A lot of times I'll use it for preventive measures.  Like I said before, people dodge out of the way, but this includes people not in my line of vision.  Take the mall, for example.  It's a busy place and people walk in all directions.  Often I'll hear Mary laugh and when I inquire why, she'll say something like "Some mom yanked her 5 year old out of the way--he was getting ready to walk in front of you."  Since I don't see people in my peripheral, the cane warns them and crisis adverted (trust me, I've run into plenty of people before)!  But what do I do at church when ten 2-3 year olds are running around--I walk in fear that I'm going to trip one of the kids!

This was way more than I wanted to type--I prefer to keep my posts shorter and I apologize this was long.  But let me leave you with one story about how using a cane COULD be fun (I say "could" because my wife wouldn't let me do it).  Mary and I had gone to Berea for something and while in town, a wedding was taking place at the Boone Tavern Hotel outside.  We were at a nearby cafe eating a snack outside.  As we were watching the guests and family being seated I thought I could implement a great social experiment.  What would happen if I started walking in that direction with my cane and walked right into the wedding procession.    How would the people react?  Would someone "escort" me away or would people feel sympathetic and let me interrupt the wedding for the sake of not appearing rude?  I personally thought it was a great idea, but the wife trumps in this case.  No matter what their reaction would have been, you can't say that it wouldn't have been funny!