So I almost punched a hole in the wall today, but changed course and punched the window sill instead. Isaiah is 13 months old now and apparently training to be a track star. I was chasing him around the kitchen and as I bent down to grab/tickle him, I rammed my face into the back post of the bar stool. Usually when you get hurt you want to curse and punch something because of the pain. This punch was because of my frustration for not seeing the dumb thing! Sigh... But hey, you can only laugh about it after.
Anyways... it's been a while since I last posted (and forgive the writing in this post; I'm rushing). But after some complaining from some readers (especially my mother-in-law) and some new "encounters" I was encouraged to post again. Except this time I'm posting about my hearing loss. I began this blog to discuss my vision loss (hence the title "the world in a tunnel."). I supposed that's because it's new for me. I've been hearing impaired all my life, I don't really think about its affects on me anymore. But because I now follow other people with Ushers who talk about their hearing impairment and new experiences, I've realized more and more how having moderate-severe hearing loss affects my daily life. I've been following a blog by a fellow Usher Syndrome friend and as I read his blogs I gape with my mouth open thinking "is he my twin?" When I read his stories, experiences, feelings I feel like I'm reading my own memoirs. I encourage you to follow him also (http://usherssyndrome.blogspot.com). My good friend (shout out to Ronnie) also got me to watch what is now one of my favorite movies, The Hammer, about the first deaf wrestler to win a NCAA championship in wrestling (and is a current professional MMA fighter). So... here's the hearing side (but it won't be much):
Last year I was assigned an "instructional coach" to help me improve my teaching. After one of my classes we discussed the lesson I implemented involving small group discussion. I was disappointed in it but he was elated. He expressed some of the higher level thinking he heard from some students. He pointed out specific ideas students shared. I was baffled. How did you hear what those students said by sitting in the back of the room? I circulated around the room and couldn't pick up those comments. No wonder why my students seem wierded out when I hover into their personal space--I realized that it was the natural adaptation I made to compensate my inability to hear like normal people. That prompted new ideas to help me overcome that barrier. For example, having a small white board for each group to record their thoughts then hold it in the air for me to see. But with every accommodation, there are still set-backs. But from that, I learned the importance in communicating more what my hearing is like in different situations. I always felt that my hearing aids allowed me to hear like a hearing person; but that's not the case and as I learn the difference I can discover how to integrate into that hearing world; yet I am forever grateful for my hearing aids and other technology like my bluetooth that allows me to use the phone without speakerphone!
My hearing aids were a game changer for me. I hate it when my battery dies and freak out when I don't have any spare batteries with me or when my hearing aid doesn't work. I feel like I'm non-existent, or rather that the world is non-existent. Because I have been introduced to distinct sound with my hearing aids, I associate my hearing aids with my world being a reality. When I turn my hearing aids on, my world wakes up. Before that it's nothing but what sounds like low, soft, mumbling. Or in the words of a guy in a youtube video (posted below) it sounds like the teacher from Charlie Brown who mumbles "wah, wah, wah!" To stress the importance I place on my hearing aids, consider this story:
I took a trip to Gatlinburg with a group of friends during college. While there we hiked up Chimney Rocks. Instead of hiking a path, you actually jump from boulder to boulder up a river stream. Being the genius that I am, I climbed up a tree and hung upside down from a branch, a pool of water and boulders lying beneath me. Suddenly the limbed cracked and I dropped 10 feet into the pool of water. My friends froze fearing the worst, thinking my head had busted open on a boulder. In reality I landed in the water, my head falling between two boulders. While they feared my life, I jumped straight out fearing my the safety of my hearing aids screaming at someone to "hurry! Take them and dry them off!" To me, my hearing aids meant more than my life!
I have lots more to say, so another post will come soon... but I also want to encourage you to watch this video that includes interviews with people with Usher Syndrome. I'm so glad I've been following other people because they help explain what I fail to explain to myself!
Senseless about Usher Syndrome
great post jeff. and i still remember chimney rock like it was yesterday and have the pictures for proof!
ReplyDeleteI can relate with the batteries also. My hearing aids have a tone that pulses to let me know the batteries are dying soon(1 hour-5 hours you never know). So when I am at work, interview, with friends, or even worse OUT OF TOWN and I hear that noise..."Oh man, why didn't I think of this?"
ReplyDeletePeople may not know but we tend to forget they are there. A typical person wakes up turns off the alarm and gets ready for the morning. We get up, get ready and turn on the world. I used to be upset about the hearing aids but I've noticed as I've gotten older I am glad to have them. People actually think they look cool and want a pair themselves. The feeling of playing piano, sitting on the porch or just listening to music is serene without the use of hearing aids. It makes it feel tranquil. Like there is a silence and calmness beyond what you are hearing. It's not all bad things!